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Who Am I? - ( Translation by Published by |
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INTRODUCTION "Who am I?" is the title given to a set of questions and
answers bearing on Self-enquiry. The questions were put to Bhagavan Sri
Ramana Maharshi by one Sri M. Sivaprakasam Pillai about the year 1902. Sri
Pillai, a graduate in Philosophy, was at the time employed in the Revenue
Department of the South Arcot Collectorate. During his visit to Tiruvannamalai in 1902 on official work, he went
to Along with
Vicharasangraham (Self-Enquiry), Nan Yar (Who am I?) constitutes the first
set of instructions in the Master's own words. These two are the only prose-pieces
among Bhagavan's Works. They clearly set forth the central teaching that the
direct path to liberation is Self-enquiry. The particular mode in which the
enquiry is to be made is lucidly set forth in Nan Yar. The mind consists of
thoughts. The 'I' thought is the first to arise in the mind. When the enquiry
' Who am I?' is persistently pursued, all other thoughts get destroyed, and
finally the 'I' thought itself vanishes leaving the supreme non-dual Self
alone. The false identification of the Self with the phenomena of non-self
such as the body and mind thus ends, and there is illumination, Sakshatkara.
The process of enquiry of course, is not an easy one. As one enquires 'Who am
I?', other thoughts will arise; but as these arise, one should not yield to
them by following them , on the contrary, one should ask 'To whom do they
arise ?' In order to do this, one has to be extremely vigilant. Through
constant enquiry one should make the mind stay in its source, without
allowing it to wander away and get lost in the mazes of thought created by
itself. All other disciplines such as breath-control and meditation on the
forms of God should be regarded as auxiliary practices. They are useful in so
far as they help the mind to become quiescent and one-pointed. For the mind that has
gained skill in concentration, Self-enquiry becomes comparatively easy. It is
by ceaseless enquiry that the thoughts are destroyed and the Self realized -
the plenary Reality in which there is not even the 'I' thought, the
experience which is referred to as "Silence". This, in substance, is Bhagavan Sri Ramana
Maharshi's teaching in Nan Yar (Who am I?).
As all living beings desire
to be happy always, without misery, as in the case of everyone there is
observed supreme love for one's self, and as happiness alone is the cause for
love, in order to gain that happiness which is one's nature and which is
experienced in the state of deep sleep where there is no mind, one should
know one's self. For that, the path of knowledge, the inquiry of the form
"Who am I?", is the principal means. 1 . Who am I ? The gross body which is
composed of the seven humours (dhatus), I am not; the five cognitive sense
organs, viz. the senses of hearing, touch, sight, taste, and smell, which
apprehend their respective objects, viz. sound, touch, colour, taste, and
odour, I am not; the five cognitive sense-organs, viz. the organs of speech,
locomotion, grasping, excretion, and procreation, which have as their
respective functions speaking, moving, grasping, excreting, and enjoying, I
am not; the five vital airs, prana, etc., which perform respectively the five
functions of in-breathing, etc., I am not; even the mind which thinks, I am
not; the nescience too, which is endowed only with the residual impressions
of objects, and in which there are no objects and no functioning's, I am not.
2. If I am none of these, then who am I? After negating all of the above-mentioned as 'not
this', 'not this', that Awareness which alone remains - that I am. 3. What is the nature of Awareness? The nature of Awareness is
existence-consciousness-bliss 4. When will the realization of the Self be
gained? When the world which is what-is-seen has been
removed, there will be realization of the Self which is the seer. 5. Will there not be realization of the Self even
while the world is there (taken as real)? There will not be. 6. Why? The seer and the object
seen are like the rope and the snake. Just as the knowledge of the rope which
is the substrate will not arise unless the false knowledge of the illusory
serpent goes, so the realization of the Self which is the substrate will not
be gained unless the belief that the world is real is removed. 7. When will the world which is the object seen
be removed? When the mind, which is the cause of all cognition's
and of all actions, becomes quiescent, the world will disappear. 8. What is the nature of the mind? What is called 'mind' is a
wondrous power residing in the Self. It causes all thoughts to arise. Apart
from thoughts, there is no such thing as mind. Therefore, thought is the
nature of mind. Apart from thoughts, there is no independent entity called
the world. In deep sleep there are no thoughts, and there is no world. In the
states of waking and dream, there are thoughts, and there is a world also.
Just as the spider emits the thread (of the web) out of itself and again
withdraws it into itself, likewise the mind projects the world out of itself
and again resolves it into itself. When the mind comes out of the Self, the
world appears. Therefore, when the world appears (to be real), the Self does
not appear; and when the Self appears (shines) the world does not appear. When
one persistently inquires into the nature of the mind, the mind will end
leaving the Self (as the residue). What is referred to as the Self is the
Atman. The mind always exists only in dependence on something gross; it
cannot stay alone. It is the mind that is called the subtle body or the soul
(jiva). 9. What is the path of inquiry for understanding
the nature of the mind? That which rises as 'I' in
this body is the mind. If one inquires as to where in the body the thought 'I'
rises first, one would discover that it rises in the heart. That is the place
of the mind's origin. Even if one thinks constantly 'I' 'I', one will be led
to that place. Of all the thoughts that arise in the mind, the 'I' thought is
the first. It is only after the rise of this that the other thoughts arise.
It is after the appearance of the first personal pronoun that the second and
third personal pronouns appear; without the first personal pronoun there will
not be the second and third. 10. How will the mind become quiescent? By the inquiry 'Who am
I?'. The thought 'who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the
stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get
destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-realization. 11. What is the means for constantly holding on
to the thought 'Who am I?' When other thoughts arise,
one should not pursue them, but should inquire: 'To whom do they arise?' It
does not matter how many thoughts arise. As each thought arises, one should
inquire with diligence, "To whom has this thought arisen?". The
answer that would emerge would be "To me". Thereupon if one
inquires "Who am I?", the mind will go back to its source; and the
thought that arose will become quiescent. With repeated practice in this manner,
the mind will develop the skill to stay in its source. When the mind that is
subtle goes out through the brain and the sense-organs, the gross names and
forms appear; when it stays in the heart, the names and forms disappear. Not
letting the mind go out, but retaining it in the Heart is what is called
"inwardness" (antar-mukha). Letting the mind go out of the Heart is
known as "externalisation" (bahir-mukha). Thus, when the mind stays
in the Heart, the 'I' which is the source of all thoughts will go, and the
Self which ever exists will shine. Whatever one does, one should do without
the egoity "I". If one acts in that way, all will appear as of the
nature of Siva (God). 12. Are there no other means for making the mind
quiescent? Other than inquiry, there
are no adequate means. If through other means it is sought to control the
mind, the mind will appear to be controlled, but will again go forth. Through
the control of breath also, the mind will become quiescent; but it will be
quiescent only so long as the breath remains controlled, and when the breath
resumes the mind also will again start moving and will wander as impelled by
residual impressions. The source is the same for both mind and breath.
Thought, indeed, is the nature of the mind. The thought "I" is the
first thought of the mind; and that is egoity. It is from that whence egoity
originates that breath also originates. Therefore, when the mind becomes
quiescent, the breath is controlled, and when the breath is controlled the
mind becomes quiescent. But in deep sleep, although the mind becomes
quiescent, the breath does not stop. This is because of the will of God, so
that the body may be preserved and other people may not be under the
impression that it is dead. In the state of waking and in samadhi, when the
mind becomes quiescent the breath is controlled. Breath is the gross form of
mind. Till the time of death, the mind keeps breath in the body; and when the
body dies the mind takes the breath along with it. Therefore, the exercise of
breath-control is only an aid for rendering the mind quiescent (manonigraha);
it will not destroy the mind (manonasa). Like the practice of
breath-control. meditation on the forms of God, repetition of mantras,
restriction on food, etc., are but aids for rendering the mind quiescent. Through meditation on the
forms of God and through repetition of mantras, the mind becomes one-pointed.
The mind will always be wandering. Just as when a chain is given to an
elephant to hold in its trunk it will go along grasping the chain and nothing
else, so also when the mind is occupied with a name or form it will grasp
that alone. When the mind expands in the form of countless thoughts, each
thought becomes weak; but as thoughts get resolved the mind becomes
one-pointed and strong; for such a mind Self-inquiry will become easy. Of all
the restrictive rules, that relating to the taking of sattvic food in
moderate quantities is the best; by observing this rule, the sattvic quality
of mind will increase, and that will be helpful to Self-inquiry. 13. The residual impressions (thoughts) of
objects appear wending like the waves of an ocean. When will all of them get
destroyed? As the meditation on the
Self rises higher and higher, the thoughts will get destroyed. 14. Is it possible for the residual impressions
of objects that come from beginningless time, as it were, to be resolved, and
for one to remain as the pure Self? Without yielding to the
doubt "Is it possible, or not?", one should persistently hold on to
the meditation on the Self. Even if one be a great sinner, one should not
worry and weep "O! I am a sinner, how can I be saved?"; one should
completely renounce the thought "I am a sinner"; and concentrate
keenly on meditation on the Self; then, one would surely succeed. There are
not two minds - one good and the other evil; the mind is only one. It is the
residual impressions that are of two kinds - auspicious and inauspicious.
When the mind is under the influence of auspicious impressions it is called
good; and when it is under the influence of inauspicious impressions it is
regarded as evil. The mind should not be
allowed to wander towards worldly objects and what concerns other people.
However bad other people may be, one should bear no hatred for them. Both
desire and hatred should be eschewed. All that one gives to others one gives
to one's self. If this truth is understood who will not give to others? When
one's self arises all arises; when one's self becomes quiescent all becomes
quiescent. To the extent we behave with humility, to that extent there will
result good. If the mind is rendered quiescent, one may live anywhere. 15. How long should inquiry be practised? As long as there are
impressions of objects in the mind, so long the inquiry "Who am I?"
is required. As thoughts arise they should be destroyed then and there in the
very place of their origin, through inquiry. If one resorts to contemplation
of the Self unintermittently, until the Self is gained, that alone would do.
As long as there are enemies within the fortress, they will continue to sally
forth; if they are destroyed as they emerge, the fortress will fall into our
hands. 16. What is the nature of the Self? What exists in truth is
the Self alone. The world, the individual soul, and God are appearances in it.
like silver in mother-of-pearl, these three appear at the same time, and
disappear at the same time. The Self is that where there is absolutely no
"I" thought. That is called "Silence". The Self itself is
the world; the Self itself is "I"; the Self itself is God; all is
Siva, the Self. 17. Is not everything the work of God? Without desire, resolve,
or effort, the sun rises; and in its mere presence, the sun-stone emits fire,
the lotus blooms, water evaporates; people perform their various functions
and then rest. Just as in the presence of the magnet the needle moves, it is
by virtue of the mere presence of God that the souls governed by the three
(cosmic) functions or the fivefold divine activity perform their actions and
then rest, in accordance with their respective karmas. God has no resolve; no
karma attaches itself to Him. That is like worldly actions not affecting the
sun, or like the merits and demerits of the other four elements not affecting
all pervading space. 18. Of the devotees, who is the greatest? He who gives himself up to
the Self that is God is the most excellent devotee. Giving one's self up to
God means remaining constantly in the Self without giving room for the rise
of any thoughts other than that of the Self. Whatever burdens are thrown on
God, He bears them. Since the supreme power of God makes all things move, why
should we, without submitting ourselves to it, constantly worry ourselves
with thoughts as to what should be done and how, and what should not be done
and how not? We know that the train carries all loads, so after getting on it
why should we carry our small luggage on our head to our discomfort, instead
of putting it down in the train and feeling at ease? 19. What is non-attachment? As thoughts arise,
destroying them utterly without any residue in the very place of their origin
is non-attachment. Just as the pearl-diver ties a stone to his waist, sinks
to the bottom of the sea and there takes the pearls, so each one of us should
be endowed with non-attachment, dive within oneself and obtain the
Self-Pearl. 20. Is it not possible for God and the Guru to
effect the release of a soul? God and the Guru will only
show the way to release; they will not by themselves take the soul to the
state of release. In truth, God and the Guru are not different. Just as the
prey which has fallen into the jaws of a tiger has no escape, so those who
have come within the ambit of the Guru's gracious look will be saved by the
Guru and will not get lost; yet, each one should by his own effort pursue the
path shown by God or Guru and gain release. One can know oneself only with
one's own eye of knowledge, and not with somebody else's. Does he who is Rama
require the help of a mirror to know that he is Rama? 21. Is it necessary for one who longs for release
to inquire into the nature of categories (tattvas)? Just as one who wants to
throw away garbage has no need to analyse it and see what it is, so one who
wants to know the Self has no need to count the number of categories or
inquire into their characteristics; what he has to do is to reject altogether
the categories that hide the Self. The world should be considered like a
dream. 22. Is there no difference between waking and
dream? Waking is long and a dream
short; other than this there is no difference. Just as waking happenings seem
real while awake. so do those in a dream while dreaming. In dream the mind
takes on another body. In both waking and dream states thoughts. names and
forms occur simultaneously. 23. Is it any use reading books for those who
long for release? All the texts say that in
order to gain release one should render the mind quiescent; therefore their
conclusive teaching is that the mind should be rendered quiescent; once this
has been understood there is no need for endless reading. In order to quieten
the mind one has only to inquire within oneself what one's Self is; how could
this search be done in books? One should know one's Self with one's own eye
of wisdom. The Self is within the five sheaths; but books are outside them.
Since the Self has to be inquired into by discarding the five sheaths, it is
futile to search for it in books. There will come a time when one will have
to forget all that one has learned. 24. What is happiness? Happiness is the very
nature of the Self; happiness and the Self are not different. There is no
happiness in any object of the world. We imagine through our ignorance that
we derive happiness from objects. When the mind goes out, it experiences
misery. In truth, when its desires are fulfilled, it returns to its own place
and enjoys the happiness that is the Self. Similarly, in the states of sleep,
samadhi and fainting, and when the object desired is obtained or the object
disliked is removed, the mind becomes inward-turned, and enjoys pure
Self-Happiness. Thus the mind moves without rest alternately going out of the
Self and returning to it. Under the tree the shade is pleasant; out in the
open the heat is scorching. A person who has been going about in the sun feels
cool when he reaches the shade. Someone who keeps on going from the shade
into the sun and then back into the shade is a fool. A wise man stays
permanently in the shade. Similarly, the mind of the one who knows the truth
does not leave Brahman. The mind of the ignorant, on the contrary, revolves
in the world, feeling miserable, and for a little time returns to Brahman to
experience happiness. In fact, what is called the world is only thought. When
the world disappears, i.e. when there is no thought, the mind experiences
happiness; and when the world appears, it goes through misery. 25. What is wisdom-insight (jnana-drsti)? Remaining quiet is what is
called wisdom-insight. To remain quiet is to resolve the mind in the Self.
Telepathy, knowing past, present and future happenings and clairvoyance do
not constitute wisdom-insight. 26. What is the relation between desirelessness
and wisdom? Desirelessness is wisdom.
The two are not different; they are the same. Desirelessness is refraining
from turning the mind towards any object. Wisdom means the appearance of no
object. In other words, not seeking what is other than the Self is detachment
or desirelessness; not leaving the Self is wisdom. 27. What is the difference between inquiry and
meditation? Inquiry consists in
retaining the mind in the Self. Meditation consists in thinking that one's
self is Brahman, existence-consciousness-bliss. 28. What is release? Inquiring into the nature
of one's self that is in bondage, and realising one's true nature is release.
SRI RAMANARPANAM ASTU |